Friday, June 30, 2006

Happy 5th Anniversary


This July 1st represents 5 years of being married to the most awesome woman I have ever met in my life, and I'm not just saying that because she will probably read this. I am very much blessed. We have a wonderful child together and another one on the way. I owe her credit for everything good that has happened in my life. She's truly one of a kind, and if you ever get a chance to meet her, you'll understand what I mean.

With that, I want to wish a very happy 5th anniversary to Urban Mummy, and state on the record, that this year will be focussed on getting you what you want and need in a husband and in life.

I love you,

Urban Daddy
(aka SpeakEasy)

Now for the gifts...

5 years of marriage are represented by wood and silverware. The gemstone is turquoise and the flower... Daisies. I've got them all covered. Also covered a few other essentials, to make things work this July 1st. Chocolate and memories of the wedding day, so long ago, at the Art Gallery of Ontario.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Professions SPEAKEASYfeels gets way too much respect

1. Celebrities. That people model their lives around 80 pound, drugged, screwed up celebrities, amazes me. Who cares about their sex lives, who they party with and who they sleep with. They are only famouns because they can "act". It's not a real profession like Doctor's or Firemen... please.

2. Sports Athletes. Not I love sports more than the next guy, but I do not want my son idolizing some 18 year old kid that dropped out of school because he can throw a ball, make a basket or shoot a puck. When interviewed these kids (and later adults) cannot put a sentance together that makes sense. Yet they get a lot of press. why?!? Let's show kids it's ok to be dumb yet talented.

3. Taxi Drivers. Now I hear all these stories about taxi drivers being doctors and lawyers in the countries they grew up in and the fact that they cannot use those skills here, really bites, and needs to be changed, but really, does being a taxi driver really give you the right to ignore stop signs, stop whereever you want and basically drive without consideration for anyone else. NO.

4. Government Workers. Overpaid for what they do (most of them), backed by a union, always looking for shortcuts and get frustrated when dealing with the general public. Hey guys! That's your fucking job. Do it, and do it well, or quit and let someone else have a chance to live the life of Riley.

5. Serial Killers. Why, why, why? I don't care that little Bobby was abused as a child and tore the legs off ants. He killed a lot of people and made others afraid to go outside. These people deserve to be shipped off to jail, and never heard from again. Don't make trading cards out of them or discuss them as of they were heroes. They deserve to rot in hell, and that message should be left with children.

6. Bus Drivers. See taxi drivers. Unfriendly. Will see you running for the bus, and still pull away. To become one there should be a manners test, or are they afraid no one would pass.

7. Customs Agents. Last time i checked, your job description was to keep bad people and bad things out of our country?!? So why then are you the most rudest asshole in the world when I'm trying to come back? Be friendly. Smile. Welcome back, maybe.

8. Musicians. Not the real ones, that learn to play instruments and make beautiful music, but the ones who make a disc of average music then proceed to use their "star power" and act like assholes. Remember, people actually consider them rolemodels. All they talk about is sex, drugs, and stuff like that. You people get way too much press.

9. PETA. You know what guys, I get it. I don't like cruelty to animals eiather, but by putting really gross billboards around and doing really gross things, makes me want to hope that the aminals you are trying to protect will eat you. Keep it clean. You're scaring the children.

10. Construction workers. Whether it's the cash under the table routine, or having 5 guys watching one guy cut a piece of wood, or cutting corners then disappearing, a lot of these guys are crooked with a capital crook. What ever happened to your name being worth something. A handshake used to be as good as a contract. Now they are all just greedy.

11. Monopolies and people that work for them. See Government workers. If you corner the market, why bother trying. It's not like the customers can go anywhere else.

12. Criminals of all kinds. It's people like you who get away with stuff that makes all of us suffer. You steal a box of markers and now I can't find one to save my life. Directors of huge companies over-inflate their companies earning and bilk everyday people of uf their life savings, meanwhile they own HUGE houses and sold off all their shares before everything came public. These people deserve to be made an example of. Take away everything they own, sell it off and pay back the investors. But tell us which Dunkin Donuts they are now working at so we can leave them a tip.

13. Me. Way too many people where I work hang on to every word I say like it's written in stone. If you don't know the answer shouldn't you try to find it on your own first? Nope easier to ask someone. As a result, my opinion is way to important and that bugs me.

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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

What goes thump in the night...

Would you believe, my son?

All 18 months of him.

Here's what happened...

It's 12:30am, and I'm on the computer trying to write an essay on e-Procurement wondering when I might be off to bed, when directly above me, I hear a "thud", but no noise to follow. So I make my way upstairs and into the bedroom. No noise. I walk over to my side of the bed and reach for the flashlight we use to check on happy boy - which I put on the floor when he came into bed with my wife at 10pm. I reached down and felt... hair. Then a head?!? It was my son. The thud was him falling off the bed onto the floor (and power bar). He was on his hands and knees and out cold - sleeping. I scooped him up and took him to his crib. Now he is snoring up a storm. Poor little guy is back on anti-biotics, still has an ear infection.

Surprisingly, I was able to pick him up and carry him considering the intense pain I feel in my sciatic nerve. I get sharp shooting pains from pretty much my left buttock (glut muscle) all the way down to my toes (which sometimes go numb). I went through a month of serios physiotherapy, and massage but to no avail. Now I continue to stretch a lot, but no avail. So today I got new walking shoes. That might work.

Also I posses a very cranky wife who is 24 week pregnant and already feeling like she did in the 9th month for happy boy. Her back is probably worse than mine and that says a lot. She, like I am very tough and are able to move on considering the pain. I think the only thing that would make her feel better (after a good massage) is if we paid off the mortgage. She hates debt. I love that she hates debt.

Anyways, up to bed, work in 5 hours.


Wednesday, June 21, 2006

I've been tagged Part 2


5 Things in My Refrigerator:
1% milk for my cereal fetish - yum
Cheese - goes on everything! Except meat.
Ketchup - essential for grilled cheese, potatoes and eggs
Sour cream - low fat for the awesome french toast UrbanMummy makes

5 Things in My Closet:
Many, many custom dress shirts by Maxwell the tailor, because I have monkey arms
Shorts that I used to wear in high-school
Over 25 baseball hats, and I no longer wear hats.
A pair of Doc Maartens that I no longer wear, but keep
A laundry basket full of clean clothes I should put away

5 Things in My Workbag:
Cell phone;
School textbook(s);
Cheque book;
Allergy medicine

5 Things in My Car:
Gas receipts
CD cases hidden from my wife
Change for the parking meter (or Tim Horton's)
Map Art / Perly's - for my lousy sense of direction

5 People I Tag:
Angela's Magic Carpet Ride
Dora the Explorer
Bob the Builder

I've been tagged!

Holy Hell, I've been tagged, by the lovely and extremely talented Urban Mummy.

Now I need to go find out what that means...

Long live the Whale

It finally happened.

Long Live the Whale.

The Hartford Whalers have won the Stanley Cup!!!!

They did it, of course, in disguise, dressed as Carolina Hurricanes from that hockey (NASCAR) hotbed of Carolina.

First Tampa Bay, then Carolina. OY. What is the NHL coming to??? What happened to the Black Hawks, Leafs, Bruins, Rangers, Habs or Red Wings? Well those team all suck, except the Wings, of course.

Kudos to the Bruins and Black Hawns for REALLY fucking up their teams. Do you guys want fans? Wake up before it's too late.

And while I'm on it... Build a fucking arena in Pittsburgh already. They deserve it. They are going to be a great team for years to come.

And my beloved Leafs... Bye bye Domi, Belak and Belfour. If Ferguson Jr can't find a scoring winger and number 1 Centre to play with Sundin, then he needs to go too.

Anyways, I couldn't find either my home or away Whalers Jersey, but I have my hat with me at the office. (Boss is an Oilers fan - oops). Make sure everyone sees it.

How fucking dumb...

Today I came to the following conclusion about my job. I hate it. Not the actual work, but the people I am forced to work with or work for.


1) I’m really good at it. Like REALLY good. That makes it boring for me. There are no challenges.
2) The people I work with, who come to me for technical interpretation and assistance are REALLY fucking dumb. Like lamp-post dumb. The guy next to me was working on a calculation for the whole day yesterday. Couldn’t figure it out. Her asked for my help and figuring it might be difficult I said we should look at it in the morning. Well, needless to say, it took me less than 5 minutes to figure out what he was doing wrong, and adjust it accordingly. The people around him were shocked. I shook my head in disbelief and walked away.
3) One of my friends told me he likes his boss, but it takes the guy 10 minutes to spit out what he’s trying to say. He’s not hesitating because he stutters, or is trying to be politically correct, but he is stupid and unfit to be a manager. I mean shouldn’t a manager be able to articulate his thoughts???? Not here. You can walk? Breathe on your own? Not drool at the managers meetings? Then you can manage!!!! Idiots.
4) Got a new workload this morning. Worked through it after 2 hours and was looking for more work to do, so I started working my old accounts. Why??? Give me something to do, don't be satisfied because I complete my daily tasks.
5) Oh, and of course, I hate my job once I look at my paycheque every 2 weeks.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006


Kittens. Crazy. But who knew? I certainly didn't.

This past Sunday, father's day, we took our son to the humane society and picked out a kitten for him. We had three cates (came with the wife) until 2 of them died within the past 6 months. Very odd, especially for me to have only one cat considering, as my wife put it, the cats to people to square foot ratio was very good. Now, not so good. But he loves the cats so we got him one of his own and he loves this one too. Owen we call him.

Well Owen, is crazy. After 3 days, he wont leave me alone. While I was working on my laptop, the little critter was doing laps of my head, running around my neck sometimes stopping to look me in the eyes. Then he followed my feet around. Stopping inbetween them, trying to stay close in case I left the room, or so he could get a good run at my shins. Crazy.

At 2 in the morning I could her the rattling of the cat toys as they moved from one side of the bathroom across to the other. He was playing. Awwww. He's a little cutie!!!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Thursday Thirteen (I hope)

Thirteen Things Speakeasy dislikes

1. Grafitti. If you want to paint things, get a job for student painters. I paid a lot of money for my house and down want your "artwork" anywhere near it.

2. Bamboo Shoots and Water Chestnuts. YUCK. Texture, taste, everything.

3. Fighting unfairly. If you want to fight, do it above board. Hitting below the belt makes you look like a baby

4. Skinny Women. Like really skinny, I can see your bones. Gross. Eat some more bread crumbs, waif.

5. The word "Stupid". No one is stupid. No one deserves to be called stupid or referred to as stupid. Doing so makes you, well, stupid.

6. Racism. Why do people have to make fun of other people because they look, talk, or thing differently. What make YOU so special. Last time I checked, as humans, we were ALL the same.

7. Monopolies. Why do some companies get to charge an arm and a leg for things without any checks and balances. See oil companies and banks. Is a trillion dollars profit a quarter not enough??

8. Bad sportsmanship. Competative is good. Bad sportsmanship is unnecessary, Makes you look like an ass.

9. Pushy people. Take a breather. Not everything can get done this minute. Some things take time and require patience.

10. Needles. Yuck. Say no more.

11. The Golden Girls. That show drives me crazy. I cringe when I hear the music.

12. House, and techno music and stuff like that. If it sounds like one really long song created by a computer, it's not music.

13. My aching back. It's keeping me from playing sports, and putting on my socks and shoes. Please go away!!!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006


This morning on my hurried walk to the subway from my house I had no less than 4 people say good morning to me, and they meant it. Not forced. It was really pleasant. I think in the 4 years we lived at our other house, I had 4 people say good morning to me in total.

I think I am going to have a good morning today.

There, that didn't hurt.


Monday, June 12, 2006

Hartford Whalers


The Carolina Hurricanes beat the Edmonton Oilers 2-1 to take a 3 games to 1 lead in the Stanley Cup finals. As a lover of the sport Americans call Ice Hockey, I have some thoughts.

1) Why don't the Leafs have any of these great players?
2) Does Carolina not look like the most calmest, skilled team to play for the cup in a long time. They are so good, it's scary. I mean really, who is Cam Ward?
3) If Edmonton cannot win the cup it is fitting that Carolina should win, and YES, the Stanley Cup parade should be in Hartford. They did move the Whalers and their 15,000 fans to Carolina and their 3000 fans. Now hockey has "caught on" there, but really, who are we kidding. Americans would rather watch a spelling bee, dog show, or women scratching their asses, than NHL hockey. I just don't get it.
4) If the Stanley Cup gets that much exposure, do you want your players hidden behind those yucky playoff beards? What does that do for player recognition. And yes, I am jealous becuase I cannot grow one.
5) The second the cup is hoisted over the head of Eric Staal, it becomes baseball season. Go Jays!
6) How long until training camp begins? And will the Leafs finally find someone to play with their superstar, Mats Sundin? and I don't mean Tie Domi!!!
and lastly...
7) How weird will it sound to hear, ... "The Stanley Cup has been won by the Carolina Hurricanes"??? I guess just remember the call when the hockey hot bed of Tampa Bay won.

Hey, that was my idea...

Don't you hate it when you do something or say something only to have someone else quote you, or pass along the story as if it were their own? Well that happened to me today at the office and man did it piss me off.

The person in question took pretty much everything I said and told another person the story saying that it was him who did and said it. Claimed to have resolved the situation on his own too.

What was most odd, was that he didn't know I was there and when I arrived, he continued. As if I wasn't going to recognize the tale. Then when I corrected him on something that I had said, he continued, but embellished it to make it sound even more impressive. I had to leave. If you have to depend on someone else's thoughts, words or writings to make your own life interesting that's fine, just give credit where credit is due or you sound like an asshole.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

My poor, sick son

My poor little boy - all 17 months and 13 days of him - is really ill today. He has had a fever most of the day, and feels like he is burning up. His forehead, the back of his neck, and most of the rest of his body is hot to touch. He's very sleepy and hasn't eaten much. What he did eat today, came back up and out 3 hours ago. We tried to get a doctor service to the house to check him out but they have no doctors in our area (we don't live a rural area by any stretch of the immagination). We called telehealth Ontario - a wonderful phone service manned by nurses and the premise behine telehealth is that you call them and talk about your illness before going to a hospital emergency room. Wonderful. We've used them many times since the birth of our happy boy and the only time they suggested we go to the hospital was a few weeks ago when my wife had tummy pain.

So, telehealth suggested it was a 24 hr stomach virus and that he needs to take his tempra / tylenol every 4 hours until the fever breaks. He actually likes the taste of the medicine and when we asked him to take it this morning, we were greeted with and enthusiastic, "yeah, yeah". This afternoon, after vomit-fest, there was no way. So the nurse told us, either we get him to drink water and take his meds, or we'd have to give his a suppository, and he might need an IV for liquid.

Needless to say, he had taken his meds (under much protest), and right now, like he has for most of the day, my wife and son are curled up on our bed, where she attends to the poor guys fever and crankiness. I come up when he cries, which has been every 20-30 minutes, and check on both of them. I just need to get close to him to tell that the little furnace is working overtime and the little guy is burning up. I touch his forehead and wonder if he'll ever get better.

I guess it's something you have to deal with being a parent.

My heart just breaks seeing him so out of it, burning up, and very unhappy.

Waiting for the fever to break.

Friday, June 09, 2006

An alcoholic amongst us.

Yes. Have ANOTHER drink...


There is this guy that works in my office that has been boozing up a storm for quite a few months now. Comes to work drunk. Drinks during the day. Staggers around the office babbling shit, then drives home. Was told he's having a "tough time at home". I say boo fucking hoo. He's the only guy in the world having home troubles, and that gives him the right to put others lives at risk while he drives around the city. My friend, when you had children, you gave up the right to self-destruct. You want to be an adult, then grow the fuck up.

Now I'm not sure what bugs me more? The fact that he drives while drunk? Or that all the managers in my area know about this, and have done nothing about it. They turn a blind eye. Idiots. I've demanded they do something about it, and even threatened to call the cops. I was told that something was done, and he no longer drinks. Ah ha.

So another thing that bugs me about this guy is that he is one mean unfriendly son of a bitch. When I first started working there, I was told to transfer an account to him and he refused to accept it, so after pressing the issue he threatened to toss me out the window. He was serious.
Now that he's boozing, he's REALLY nice to me. He's like, "hey buddy. What's up? How's the kid? Everything OK?" Makes me wanna hurl. He's a nice, social, slobbering drunk, and a real prick when sober. I caught him trying to go to the women's bathroom and had to steer him the correct way.

So why has all of this come up again????

Well this morning, I witnessed said individual staggering towards the kitchenette carrying, not one, not two, but 4 empty bottles of water to fill up. As if water covers up the smell of booze. Just the sight of him acting like that makes me angry and ill. How dare he insult our intelligence by coming to work like this and how dare management put their heads in the sand as if everything is ok.

I see a trend here.

All the friggin' managers suck!

And alcoholic man... pack up your shit. You are the weakest link... GOODBYE.
A giant among men

I must be a giant. All 5 feet, 11 inches of me. Super-tall. I don’t know how anyone pver 6 feet tall survives in this city, since at my towering height, I can barely make it…

… to work that is.

I walk from my house to the subway (and back at night), 5 days a week, and with every passing day I find it harder and harder to walk on the sidewalk in a straight line without hitting my head on tree branches from trees on people properties. Do these people never walk in front of their houses and see what a menace it is??? Or is every home-owner under 5 foot 5??

One morning I’m going to leave early with a pair of clippers and trim every fucking tree that I have to move my head away from, and lthen leave all the clipping on their front door step.
Still no response from the Mayor, anyone at the TTC or CUPE.

To cowardly to admit they were wrong.

You all suck!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

I was doing some online research - I swear - relating to my wonderful 17 month old son and my equally wonderful 5 month pregnant wife when I came across a website on the clitoris. Now not being an expert in the clitoris, not having one, I decided to read a little (or a lot) figuring that, heck, this might come in use one day soon, and my wife might appreciate that I have taken time (after she had gone to bed, of course) to read up.

All I can say is go visit and prepare to be amazed. Even if you have one. It talks about all sorts of stuff, including masterbation, risks, fantasy, different types of sex, and so on and so on. It's a big site.

So go there. Learn a little, or a lot.

Quiz tomorrow.

But don't worry. It'll be oral.
Not qualified to manage!!!

I look out from my desk into my work floor which holds about 80 employees, each of who should be spending the majority of their day, on the phone, resolving files, speaking to their clients, and others within the organization, but what do I hear? Nothing. Well, the guy beside me is rambling some shit on the hone to his client, who, if it was me, would have hung up 15 minutes ago. But the rest of the floor? Quiet. Silent. On break, sleeping, or worse. How could this happen? Day after day. Doesn’t anyone care? Where are the fucking managers? Is there any leadership in this place?

As far as I can tell there is one manager on the floor and all I hear is the clicking of his keyboard every now and then. Great job. No one motivates the staff to work, or promotes the team concept to work for each other and for the greater cause. But why should they? Budgets and targets are set by managers, and their managers, so guess who gets the rewards for making these targets? Managers. They get bonuses. The employees? Nothing. Which is probably why I hear 3 voices a day – mine, my clients and my manager, when I go over to bug him about a clients and to get support, or update him on the discussions.

So what would it take to make people motivated? Fire half of them. Or, ask staff where they want to be and put them there. Myself??? Manager. I’ve been ready to manage for 8 years, but cannot get a sniff because my employer takes the “employment equity” guidelines a little too seriously. Yes, senior management is predominantly older white males, but why then should every position under that be given to anyone and everyone EXCEPT white males?? I’m not asking for a senior management position. If it’s such a problem, move some qualified people into senior positions. Don’t by pass qualified staff with unqualified people who are not suitable to manage. That’s what happens here. As far as I am concerned, there is one mostly-qualifies manager. This guy gets it. He knows when to put the pressure on, and he expects results from his staff. I’d love to work for this guy. My stats (already phenomenal) would go through the roof.

Now getting back to employment equity, I know there is a big discussion going on about the merit of this program, and I can make an argument for both sides of the debate, but in my specific work environment, I thing they need to resport to the old street hockey mentality. Throw all the sticks in the middle of the street. Pick 2 captains and let them pull sticks at random to form their teams. There are some guys and gals here who are not at the level needed to be considered for managerial positions, but having dealt with them and witnessed their skills and abilities, they are way more qualified to manage here than 90% of the people that do manage here. Of all races, religions, colours and creeds. I say give them a shot and if they fail, give them time to learn and give them another shot. Staff know who would make good managers and who suck. Those that tried and failed should be demoted. Fuck them. Why keep someone there who is not qualified or good at it. Boo fucking hoo. You tried to manage, your shit at it, and now your back with the rest of us common folk. Oh well. We are more concerned about the organization rather than you. Sorry. If you don’t like it, you can quit. :)

As for senior managers? No MBA, or serious experience? Then no fucking managerial job. Leadership begins at the top, and goes down. Half these clowns must look in the mirror each day and wonder in amazement how they got this position. They don’t lead, the hide. It’s pathetic and it sucks. That is probably the main reason why I’m not managing. I’m a great worker. My peers respect me, and I am a people person. My employer tells me those qualities are not welcomed!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

So last night I created this (in my opinion) awesome post about my view of the top ten items in the news according to Took me about an hour and when I went to post it, this fucking site crashed and I lost it all.


This time around I thought doing it in Word first, then posting it over might be a better idea (thanks AC).

So lets give it a shot.

In the news:

Angelina Jolie, Carl Pettersson, Albert Pujols, MTV Movie Awards, Roland Garros, Trizec Properties, Wasim Jaffer, Grupo Ferrovial, Martina Hingis, Carolina Hurricanes

My take on the news:

Angelina Jolie… Where to begin?!? Hot. Smoking hot, actually. Probably the only woman alive lusted after by both men and women. Has very sexy pouty lips (like my wife), and a great body. Curvy. Not a friggin waif like those terrible role models like the Olsen Sisters, or Lindsey Lohan / Nicole Ritchie. I’d like to get those four in a room and toss a cracker on the floor. Not only would it be a meal for the day for each of them, but it would be a fight to the death. Anyways, Angelina is here because of her baby with Brad Pitt. I think the kids name is Shiloh Nouvel or something odd like that. I pity all the children who will be named that in the upcoming years. But I know that Brangelina are selling the first pictures of Shiloh for a lot of money and donating that money to charity. Way to go. I mean it when I say, the world needs more Angelina’s.

Carl Pettersson… No idea. Sounds Swedish and actually sounds like a composer. My luck, he’s a serial killer. Lol. Well, I know he’s not the new Prime Minister of Peru… Figured that out yesterday.

Albert Pujols… St. Louis Cardinals slugger made headlines by being put on the DL. He was on pace for like 500 home runs this year. But I can’t get rid of the feeling that all these sluggers are on steroids, like Barry “Check-swing home-run” Bonds, or Raphael “I never took steroids, I swear” Palmeiro. I know he’s young and a great hitter, but MLB is just so shady about drug-testing. Oh well. Only time will tell.

MTV Movie Awards… My memory of any MTV award show is the 1st MTV music awards show where Madonna sang like a virgin while slithering around the stage in a wedding dress. When you’re young, that slutty approach is kind of sexy. But nowadays, all award shows suck. Stupid people receiving stupid awards for doing shit. No thanks. But the awards are coming up or just passed, and really aren’t that newsworthy.

Rolland Garros… a famous South American philanthropist.. no! It’s where the French Open is being played. Men’s tennis sucks. No one wants to see a 200-mile per hour serve then no return we want to see volleys, and sexy female tennis players. Sexy conservative tennis players, which is why I don’t like the Williams sisters. Be good at what you do, but don’t throw it in anyone’s face. I know that is the American way, but please, these girls need a steady diet of humble pie.

Trizec Properties… A major building / development firm probably, I dunno, building or developing something. Odd, eh?

Wasim Jaffer… Who? Wouldn’t even know where to begin. I’ve eaten Wasim crisp breads. But this dude must be a newly elected something from somewhere, or suspected of doing something bad to nice people. Clear enough??

Grupo Ferrovial… One of the Marx brothers???

Martina Hingis… The Swiss Miss is on the comeback trail after retiring due to feet problems purportedly from her shoes and wear and tear. She’s still young and pretty damn cute. Go Martina!

Carolina Hurricanes… aka Hartford Whalers. Go Whale!!! Are up one game to none in the best of sevan Stanley Cup final. Also benefit from the fact that the Oilers lost their goalie last night. This team is as cool and comfortable as any team I’ve seen this year. Just make sure you bring the cup back to Hartford, ok boys!

Now… the rest of the story…

Carl Pettersson… won his second PGA TOUR title on Sunday at the Memorial Tournament. Oy joy! Golf. Almost as exciting as car racing and the world nose-picking championships. BORING!

Brookfield Properties Corp., owner of the World Financial Center in Lower Manhattan, and buyout firm Blackstone Group agreed to acquire Trizec Properties Inc, for only $8.9 billion dollars. Oh, is that all??

Opener Wasim Jaffer stretched his second test century to an unbeaten 172 as India built a lead of 178 against West Indies on the fourth day yesterday of the opening cricket test at Antigua Recreation Ground. Cricket???? That’s a game I just don’t understand. The fucking games go on for days. They hit, and they job back and forth. How about running a little? Or making it tackle? Or buy the guys gloves? Fun to hit the ball, but otherwise a stupid game that no one, not even the English can explain the rules of.

UK airports operator BAA said yesterday it had agreed to accept a £10.3 billion ($31 billion) takeover bid from a consortium led by Spain's Grupo Ferrovial – obviously not a Marx brother as was erroneously reported earlier. Lol. $31 billion dollars? They could have bough Trizec Properties 3 ½ times over. Bad purchase.

Oh, and Martina Hingis… Lost.

Belgian tennis star Kim Clijsters has ended former world No.1 Martina Hingis' fairytale return to the French Open at Roland Garros.

To bad, so sad.

Friday, June 02, 2006

I work with the stupid sisters!

Now they are not really sisters, friends at times actually, but really really dumb, and super annonying.

Let me tell you a story about what happened this afternoon. It was the birthday of a girl in the office - also quite strange in her own right - and a bunch of people got together on a local patio during lunch to celebreate (more for the patio than this girl, I presume, or people were there out of sympathy or support). Anyways, I was invited but chose not to attend this soire, as I explained to the organizer, "I don't like anyone on the invite list!". He said, "hey!!! I'm going!?!?", to which I replied, "Like I said... I don't like anyone on the invite list". I decided to go halfway through lunch with a colleague / friend to see my work buddy who was there hanging out with the group. We made our way up to the patio and sat at the end of the table. After greeting everyone, I realized that the stupid sisters were talking and motioning towards my work friend. My work friend glared at them and then leaned over to tell me that the stupid sisters had been commenting on her feet. Her feet?!? Yup. One of them point out to the other that my friend was wearing sandles and the other said, ugh, she should get a pedicure!
How friggin rude! And if she doesn't get one??? Are they going to call the feet police on her? Give me a break. My friend has 2 9 yr old kids, and them, well... IQ's of 9 points each, one would think.

Then at the end of the meal, when everyone was paying, the waitress gave cheques to pairs of 2 sitting beside each other, and from what I could tell, there was one person collecting the bills and the cash for the group - making sure that the birthday girl's meal was covered. While she was doing this I could smell something burning... The stupid sisters were whispering to each other and looked really puzzled, like when they see the a door and cant figure out whether to push or pull. What puzzled them was that they were trying to figure out why one person was collecting all the bills when each pair received their own. It's not the one person collecting them that really threw them, but more specifically, how the two of them were going to cover the birthday girls meal while everyone else paid. Then, after having it explained by 3 or 4 people, they started laughing and chattering between each other about what a dumb idea it was.

Like, oh my G-D.

So of the stupid sisters, one is young and the other old. The old one threw herself at a friend of mine in the office and after kissing him at a bar, told him that there was no way he would ever be able to get away from her. She called him at work (in the same office, desks away) at home and on his cell phone to beg him to be with her, and each time her told her to stay away. It got to the point that she sought out his friends and pestered them to find out why he wont date her. Persistant? Nope. Creepy.

Stupid sister #2, the young one, tells men how smart she "really" is. Says it's just a game she plays to keep other women from being jealous about her smarts and good looks. I'm serious here. She really plays games with guys saying things like, "oh my G-D, I love you. You are the smartest person in the office". Shit like that. Considering she works there because she is related to our last bosses boss, she should be shipped back to Holtz Renfrew to work cash or in the cosmetic department.

Working some overtime last year I had a chance to work with stupid sister #2 and was actually convinced that she really wasn't that dumb or annoying. The woman that sat beside me often mused that if she heard, "that fucking valley girl speak, I'll punch her in the head", which would prompt me to call that girl over and engage in a conversation with her. While working with stupid girl I found her to be quite normal actually and when people would ask me if she was annoying, I would say, "no, actually", but clearly she was just being nice. Once she even said aloud that I was one of 2 people she would go on vacation with. Me and her stupid sister, actually. My response... . What can I say that would be offending... so I said, "ah, yeah. Thanks".
But I finally realized that no matter how nice and tolerant I was being to her / them, a time would come when I couldn't turn a deaf ear to what others were telling me about them.

That time has come.

Stupid sister, fuck off.