Sunday, August 31, 2008

Tonight... I ran...

... 40 minutes. I really need to start keeping track and running on a regular basis. My 5K run is right around the corner. I noticed on Facebook that a "friend" of mine just rant something like 16K. 16K!!! Geez!!! As if. I get bored driving 16K let alone trying to run that far. But I sure as hell hope that my route is over 5K because boy would I be surprised to find out that all this running is only, say, 3K. That would suck - especially at the Toronto Marathon when I run out of gas after 3K and all these other people are racing by me.

Some thoughts:

Why exactly are fortune cookies, kosher?!?
Does it not seem a little odd that most of us order Chinese food for items that have pork in them, and anyone who is ordering pork really doesn't care if the fortune cookies are kosher. I don't get it! Do you?

119 people drove 50K over the limit on Friday and had their cars seized by the Ontario Provincial Police... why? Are people that stupid, or in that much of a hurry? 50K over? If you really want to speed, try 45 over. Idiots.

This is the question my son asked me as him and I cut some of my neighbour's tree which hangs into our yard; "Why does your tummy hang over your denim shorts, Daddy?" Hmmm. So off the cuff, I told him that when I was his age, I ate bad food like cookies and cake and lots of processed foods and didn't exercise. Nice, eh? He thought about it, then lifted his shirt and said, "Daddy, if you eat vegetables and fruit like I do, you will be like me". I think he gets it. Nice. I remember being skinny... When I was in grade 4.

So now that labour day has come and is almost gone, I can finally look forward to a few items;
- Baseball playoffs - no Jays :(
- Hockey season - Leafs suck. YAY.
- New TV schedule
- Getting to know the kids school and extra-curricular schedule
- A new schedule for me to create to get me more sleep, be more productive and be able to be productive during the day.
- Next month Stewie is going to be 2. Already.

Last, but not least, comes from yet another rapper who would rather make up a name to use, than use the one he was born with... This guy is called P.Diddy, or P. Daddy, or Puff Daddy, or Puff the Magic... Ah, you get the point. Turns out this guys ask "Saudi Arabia" (nice reporting, eh? He asked the whole fucking country, lol) Anyways, he asked the Saudi's for free gas - why?!? Because it's getting too expensive to run his private jet. GAG. Here I thought it was for the poor, or to reduce gas prices world-wide, but nope. For his own needs. Dude... Lose the jet!

Friday, August 29, 2008


Every now and then I think about me, the kind of person I have become compared to the person I want to be and that bums me out. I really feel like I have accomplished very little and as I get older, it becomes clearer. Yes, I am married to a wonderful woman and we have 2 awesome kids, but I assumed life would include that for me, but there was always more.

Today, I had the pleasure of being interviewed for a former neighbour's Master's thesis on community involvement in the planning process and I was picked because she found that most of the politically active residents at the local level were quite old, and it was slim pickings at my age.

It was during this almost 2 hour long interview when I realized that for as little as I thought I have done politically, I have actually done quite a bit. That led me to thinking about my interests and accomplishments and I realized that I have achieved some things that I had quite frankly put behind me while searching for something else.

So here is a mini-bio about me;

Male 37yrs old
Married 2 kids, almost 4 and almost 2.
Runs - registered for the 5K @ The Toronto Marathon
Plays baseball and ball hockey
Reads - When not textbooks, I like Dan Brown
Runs a promotional business and/or consulting biz, when people come to me
Have a MBA - which I started when my first son was born and completed three years later
Like municipal politics - started a residents organization and have been involved in local events like the community clean-up and development related discussions
I write - obviously - like this blog
I have been working on a reality show concept, a sit-com (Canadian style) and a book.
I like to bake, and would LOVE to take a cooking class, get my motorcycle license and I can drive standard (Thanks UM).

So maybe I need to finish some of these open ends, but at the end of the day, I'm beat. I jump into bed, hoping not to be waken up by one of the kids, ready to begin a new day with a bang. I think if I could get into better shape that would make me feel better physically, and if I could find something to do that was challenging
for me mentally, I could enjoy life and redce my stress to take care of myself emotionally, but then again, what would I have to complain about then???

Tonight, for example, I ran. 30 minutes. Felt good. Now I'm ready for bed as we have a crazy busy weekend - Centreville, the Zoo and a BBQ with the in-laws. But, hey... I'm still on vacation. :)

Nite all.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

What exactly is the protocol?

I just don't know.

When someone posts a comment on your blog are you supposed to email them a reply? Reply to them in the comment section? Or ignore it because, damnit, it's your blog? Or... Are you supposed to then run over to their blog and post a comment?

I have no idea.

I appreciate when people comment, I try to read their blogs and return the favour, but I rarely, if ever email someone a reply because in most cases, their email address is something like "".

I need your help...

What is the protocol???

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


So you are Air Canada Jazz and you need to find yet another way to save money. You've taken away food, charged extra for baggage, and added a fuel-surcharge... So what next? Some wise-guy decided to save fuel, they need to make the planes lighter and to do that all they need to do is remove the life jackets. Yup. It's not like your going to survive anyways, right? Yikes, Yikes, Yikes!

I'm on vacation and I'm tired and getting fat... What should I do? Exercise more? Nawwwww. I took off my sideburns that I've had for 8 or 9 years, in order to make my face look thinner. Didn't work. I have sideburn tan. Looks silly... and my face looks fatter.

Maple Leafs Foods has been found to be the producer of food with the deadly Listeriosis virus - and Maple Leafs Sports and Entertainment has been found to be the producer of a terrible hockey team... Hmmm. Coincidence? I think not.

Stewie got a letter from the tax department this morning - in the US. He's 22 months old. I'm thinking of calling them and letting then send up an auditor to count the money in his piggy (turtle) bank.

I'm also thinking about scheduling. My kids are uber-scheduled, and my wife loves to keep calendars in the kitchen for the family and her own, and my own, and we try to make sure they are properly updated. But what about for us, the adults? One big relationship concern for me - and maybe for you - is trying to find time to spend with your spouse / partner, to actually do something. So I think I have come up with a solution... Every Thursday night from after kiddy bedtime, to about 10-10:30 will be out of the house time. Every Thursday we are going to go out for coffee/tea/a drink/walk either by ourselves or with our friends just to get out and have some adult time.

Any takers for week one? :)

Monday, August 25, 2008

Things overheard on a Monday...

Just a few more gems for this Monday;

"I bought bran flakes. They good? Lost 5 pounds this week".

"I went through the pantry and threw out 6 items this weekend. Not healthy. Wife bought ‘em and tucked ‘em away nicely, but I found ‘em and threw them away."
(Wont she be thrilled, eh?)

"We are way behind on the nutrition list…"
(... and maybe on the evolutionary chain too)

"I’m starting to make meals that are interesting…"
(Because before today, everything he was was boring?!?)

"They are claiming that leeches are safe to swim… in Lake Ontario…"
(Safe for the leeches, or safe for us?)

"They don’t want them to appear a toxic dump."
(I just write then, I don't say them. Who are "they"? What do they not want to appear as a toxic dump? I suspect they were referring to Lake Ontario)

"I’m thinking of making vegetarian spaghetti."
(Maybe that is what he is calling more interesting?!? Veggie spaghetti... WOW. What a novel concept.)

"It gets harder as you get older- nutrition – yeah, the brain gets slower…"
(Uh huh. Nuff said)

Sunday, August 24, 2008

With a sickening thud...

... I watched Stewie topple, with his chair at the kitchen table, face first onto the granite floor. I thought for a moment that I would be able to get there before he hit, but in reality, there was no way I would even be close. Seconds later - while he was screaming in pain and holding his nose, UrbanMummy appeared to take him and calm him down.

That was 6 hours ago.

Right now he is sitting back at the kitchen table having a pre-bed snack, while again trying to tip his chair (still not on purpose) while fidgeting around to see what is going on. He's either fearless or really dumb, and since all signs point to him having his mummy's smarts, there is NO way he's dumb. He is just intent on being the death of us.

Today alone he already jumped on the bed and hit head to head with Linus, walked into a wall, fallen twice on his face and wiped out at the hands of his brother. This is why he has learned to make "that" face and pinch. It's his self-defense mechanism to prevent getting killed by his brother. He's had a very rough tummy - poo'ed through 5 diaper wraps this weekend, cried a lot, had a low-grade fever and wouldn't let anyone touch him except Daddy.

Now the little dude bites his finger while eating snack. More tears.


Thank goodness he's off to bed, not so much for my sanity, but for his health.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


So rumour has it that Mats Sundin wants to play for the New York Rangers, eh? Hmmmm. Turn down $10 million a year from the Canucks. I don't buy it.

Why I love my son. Linus knows that we ask him what he did when he goes to see Grandma and Grandpa for dinner. He knows exactly what we want to know and he is usually spot on. Except tonight. Tonight he knew we wanted to know of he had cookies or chocolate while there - a no no, and he admitted to having some and that he liked it! That's new. He also said he had a bath. Liked that too. Then he said he went for a ride... in the black car... in a car seat... with no seat belt, he held it shut. Gulp. He was joking. Funny kid.

Last night at Sportball soccer, Linus actually kicked the ball twice during the game as he took time from sucking on the front of his shirt. I'm SO proud of him. I yelled and clapped and he looked really excited. I don't care if he ever touched the ball (not really) but I just want him to have fun (again, not really). :)

Why am I stressed out? I'm on vacation until September?

Anyone know where I can buy tax books? Like on GST, and stuff like that? Can't get them from a library...

Spent most of the day trekking around downtown Toronto with UrbanMummy looking for jewelry supply companies and silver beads... Found a few, she picked up quite a beautiful haul. Look for some of her fantastic stuff posted here.

What is the best way to get a child into a different school district? I've heard about buying a house in that area as an option, as I've also heard that tears work... Suggestions anyone?

Had my last softball game of the season tonight - and by far our team's best game although we lost due to some HORRIBLE umpiring. I went 3 for 4, my one out was a rocket to deep left field and I threw 2 runners out at second base from the outfield on singles. Made a few catches... All in all a great way to end a season. Ball hockey begins Thursday!!!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Things overheard on a Monday morning...

Actual snippets of conversations heard by me, on a Monday morning.

On people losing weight;
"Imagine being 600 pounds, eh? Now he’s like 160… He is a walking testimonial."
"Yes, that is true. He’s a star traveller…"

About a woman each one met;
"What about that woman, she was, like 57?"
"She had cold hands. Maybe she’s hypo-glycaemic?"
"She’s nice. Actually, I thought she was pretty cute."
"Oh, I liked her car."

General... stuff;
"People that eat McDonald’s get parasites ALL the time…
(from no vegetables)."

"...Makes your brain get a little bigger…"

"It’s only one part of your blood. Microscopic cellular…"
(not a real description of blood)

"Can I get the hair taken off my back? My backside?
(UGH!!! Too much information!!!)

"I’m just telling you the story of engineering… of education… we’re not even near it… It’s money…"

"It’s all inter-connected… Some of it is inter-connected… It’s way out there…"

"Did you hear the one about Harper? Harper the defence guy? It’s all about energy fields and so on…"
(I think he meant Harper the Prime Minister of this country)

"Alien is not the name of a creature, it is the name for something foreign to your mind."
(Believe it or not, this has to do with the assasination of JFK... Read on and you'll see)

"JFK was killed because he wanted to stop the war. He could do that. He was going to tell the world that there was alien life. They didn't’t want that to get out, so he was killed."
(Errr.... Yeah... NOT)

"The Dali Lama’s are fighting all the Chinamen right now… Can’t freedom speak?!?"

Darfur. That’s a problem over there. They are killing each other over economics. Took them 8 years to get people over there. Could have been stopped. It’s disgusting.
(Over economics, eh? Wonder which one... Macro or micro?)

"I had a muffin. A muffin, the other day. A little one… Sugar rush to my head. Sugar is bad for you. Sugar and homogenized milk."

Sunday, August 17, 2008

We're back...

After a nice vacation up north of Toronto in a very kid friendly resort - which I will not name - but is in Honey Harbour Ontario. I thought about how to best summarize the trip so as to not bore anyone - and came to the conclusion that a few brief stories would be best. The weather was good, the kids programs very good, the grounds, were not to shabby at all, there was plenty to do - yet at times, nothing to do. The Internet connection sucked as did the kids lunch selection. Do they really expect 3 year olds to choose between nachos, french fries and garlic bread? Some lunch. Linus ate 3 cucumber slices and a bit of broccoli the first day then we got wise and started asking for fruit. Out came a huge bowl of fruit for each kid. Not bad. The dirty looks and glares I could have done without.

But the one thing that I will forever remember about this vacation is thanks to Stewie.

You see UrbanMummy was eating some of the yummy soup that they had available when Stewie decided that he wanted some too. "Stewie eat soup" is usually what he yells. She gave him soup and he ate it on and off through most of the meal. After about 25 minutes, the server came by and asked if she could take the almost empty soup bowl - we said yes and off it went. But... Stewie spun to watch her over his shoulder as she walked about with his bowl, and his face turned into a scowl. He started waving his first finger and he yelled, "Never, never, never, take Stewie's soup away!"


So get this...

Every time a server came in our direction for the duration of our trip, he would wave his finger and mumble, "Never, never, never, take Stewie's food away!"... Every time. Whether it was our server or not.

He he he.

He makes me laugh. This 22 month old also got up every morning around 6:30am to poo on the toilet, but always forgot to go back to sleep.

We both managed to head out to the spa, I received a foot maintenance treatment for men, which was really ackward when - in a room full of women - they announced that I was getting a pedicure. Yikes. It was a foot treatment! It was great, but it was in no way a pedicure. :)

All in all, we had fun, would totally go back next year but only if they did something about the kids lunches.

The rest of the weekend was spent at birthday parties. I've eaten 6 meals since we've been home - 3 cereal, 3 pizza. The kids were crazy and I'm preparing for a super-busy / exciting week.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

I am tired...

So very tired.


This happened last night, not too far from my house.

About 4am.

The house shook. One kid woke up terrified. All the neighbours met in the middle of the street thinking this was a terrorist attack because all we heard for almost and hour was constant explosions. One older woman on my street who lived through the war was having a tough time because it reminded her of her horrible childhood.


Details sketchy at this point. Looks like a propane depot... A major part of the city has been closed, part of it evacuated. This is the first time in my life here in Toronto - I've lived here for all my 37 years, that I have witnessed such an event.

Thank you to Sci-Fi Dad for helping me embed this video. You rock! :)

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Live tracker

Have you all seen my live feed tracker on the bottom right of my blog? Tells me, and everyone else who visits my blog, who was here. Doesn't give specifics, but tells me that, for example I have visitors from Denmark, England, Ireland, South Carolina, California, Texas, NY, and a whole bunch of local ones from Toronto. Even a few just outside the Toronto area - Brampton and Oshawa - who come by every day.

Now, if I could only find a topic that would generate a shitload of comments, then I would have some new blogs to read and add to my blogroll. No pressure. :)

Thank you all for dropping by! I appreciate it.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

What shall I post about?

I can't decide.

Should I talk about our weekend at my in-laws cottage? The kids loved it, we really tired them out. Linus got to drive the boat, Stewie ate, played and did his little "rain, rain, goway" dance on Saturday.

Then again I thought about a post detailing my eating habits at the cottage - 4 bloody Caesars and a shitload of pork. You see, being Jewish, we don't eat pork... unless it happens to be at a Chinese food buffet, or on my plate at a breakfast restaurant in the form of bacon or sausage... But, boy did I eat a lot this weekend. Pork and alcohol... Not me at all.

Or, I could post about my mumbling the word "fuck" Sunday night and Stewie picking it up, no matter how I tried to change the word to fluck, flock, truck, fwock, or flax. After a few minutes he chose fuock and that was his word for 10 more minutes until he forgot it.

I could have posted about Linus' soccer and me yelling at him to play instead he stood beside the goalie waving his arms... Even the goalie tried to send him over to play. I'm THAT Dad. Yikes.

I could post about my 20 minute run tonight and how I really need August to be that month that I lose weight, tone up and run at least 3 days per week in order to prepare for the Toronto Marathon... 5K. I feel gross.

I could post about my softball league - rained out tonight - or that I joined a ball hockey team for September... or not.

I could post about the time I am going to spend with the family, the rest of August as I try to use up some of my banked vacation and continue to look for a new gig... This one sucks and the people are worse.

I should have posted about the great book I was reading this weekend called, "CyberTaxation", but I doubt anyone would care.

I really should post a nice post about a very nice BBQ we had at the house on holiday Monday with Mr and Mrs. Mamalooper and Mr and Mrs Smickoz. We had invited 2 other couples with their kiddies but illness fell upon them, leaving just the 3 couples and man did we have a nice time. Good conversation, the kids played so well together and I burned almost everything which sucked considering just the Friday night before I cooked a blue steak for my mother's birthday. I was so embarrassed.

I really want to post about the crap going on at the office - but it's been quiet recently. Turns out, the whole kerfuffle is all about 3 individuals who are telling a colleague of mine not to "be friends" with me... Yup. I'm 37 years old and this is what I get to deal with at the office. Well, besides telling untruths about me and really being rude to my colleagues, these 3 - of whom I have bought many a coffee for, and had to my house, given lacrosse tickets to, and spent many an hour listening to their problems, have decided this is what they want to spend their time doing... Not working of their relationships, or on advancing their careers, or on being a better person, but they want to talk about me. I'm honoured. I really am. But, I am SO not worth it. I'm nothing like they portray me to be, and those of you whom I have met will have some image of me and that is more accurate. I'm quiet and polite to those I am just meet and in my arena - sports, politics, volunteering or work, I'm an animal. That is all. Nothing evil, nothing fancy... Sorry guys.

I guess I could post about my kids, like Stewie not sleeping, but pooing on the potty at 22 months, or about Linus loving camp and on his own dunking his head under the water while swimming, or the fact my sub-zero fridge isn't working, the kids running around the house in rubber boots Monday, Stewie wiping out on the back deck while trying to grab the hot dogs I was BBQ'ing. He landed on his head but kept a hold of the dogs. I could vent about the jackass I did consulting for who never paid me, or the stupid trees still blocking the sidewalk as I walk to the subway.

But I just want to go to bed.

Stewie will be up soon.

It's midnight.

Good night.

Friday, August 01, 2008

What Daddy's do...

At 7am, we get called to come to the bathroom by our pre-schooler, and after asking him why, we get the following answer; "Cause I don't want to touch my poo, Daddy. I don't like to touch my poo".

Puzzled, I walk to the bathroom, only to find the pee shield of his potty seat sitting in a toilet full of poo and toilet paper.

He's looking at it.

He's very unhappy.

I look at him.

I look in the toilet.

I look back at him.

I say, "Come on buddy... You have to be more careful", then I reach into the toilet, pluck out the pee shield, then wash them both off in the sink under very hot water.


I wouldn't pass this up for anything in the world... Seriously.