Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Tuesday Newsday #3

1. Right off the top, in the news today... I jogged this morning. Whew. 2nd time. 15 minutes this time (ok, 14 minutes). Progress.

2. Belindomi - Is that what it is called??? Tie (Tahir) Domi and Belinda (sorry boyfriend Peter McKay - the Liberals offered me a cabinet post and I'm taking it and running) Stronach. Who knew!??! I thought Tie was just a goon (err, enforcer). As for Belinda, well she had tremendous potential for a career in politics, as a member of the Conservative party. Then she whored herself out to the Liberals and now this scandal, and she's destined for Liberal greatness. That party likes their members to be, shall we say, different. And to think Domi also slept with Tia Carrera. No wonder he was too tired to fight some games. Why, Tie, why? All this came to light in his retirement speech when a reported asked him about it. Interestingly, this has been going on for years but was never mentioned because of the fear that the player of team would backlash and ban either the paper or the reporter from accessing the team. So it was kept quiet... Until he retired. Brutal.

3. Osama bin Jackass (Laden) - Dead, Alive, Dead, Alive. Who knows. Who cares. This son of a billionaire is already famous for being one of the world's biggest hate mongers. This dude is so hated, he has to run from cave to cave in friggin Afghanistan to avoid having a bomb dropped on his head. I hope he's still alive and gets captured. I can't wait to see the line-up of people who's lives he has made worse, come by and smack his face with a piece of ham (the ultimate insult disallowing martyrdom). And to think people can justify his actions. Inhumane.

As if he's not pathetic enough, his niece, CNN news is reporting, in an exclusive interview, singer-songwriter Wafa Dufor, is demanding his CIA pension. Whatever! She came to the US to be rich and famous. He's trying to destroy the US and the confidence everyday people like you and I have about our places of residence. For that, I'd tell him to his face, he is a scumbag.

4. John Madden's football video game has claimed yet another victim - Add Shaun Alexander to the list of athletes injured the year they appear on the cover of the popular "Madden" football video game, as what began as a coincidence has come to be characterized as a curse. Alexander is the sixth consecutive athlete featured on the cover to suffer an injury that forced him to miss at least one game.
Please, please do NOT put me on the cover is what these athletes should be saying. LOL. Soon they'll have to start putting mascots on the cover.

5. Joe Volpe - Federal Liberal leadership candidate Joe Volpe, and the MP in our riding, is once again reeling from a scandal related to his campaign. A few months ago, he circumvented a policy forbidding donations from some group by accepting the same donations from their children, aged 2 and under. Once caught, he apologized and continued in the race. A few days ago, Mr. Volpe was accused of having his staff sign up members for the Liberal party in Quebec who did not pay the necessary $10.00 membership fee, or who were unaware or even dead. When brought to his attention, Mr. Volpe blamed the current leader, Michael Ignatief's campaign as being a smear campaign against him.

Seriously, Joe. May I call you Joe... You've been the MP in our riding for the 6 years we've lived there and the only time your name comes up is when you need our vote - which I have never given you and never will. Try showing up in the riding sometimes. Try pretending that you work for the pay you get. I'm sorry but based on your record in my riding... I'd rather vote for Belinda Stronach, and that says a lot. Geez, I'd rather vote for Tie Domi!!!

6. Mel (go to hell) Gibson - That Mel Gibson's a tenacious bugger, isn't he? The majority of other people - had they been arrested for drink driving, then slagged off all the fucking Jews, threatened to anally rape the arresting officer, claimed ownership of Malibu and then called a female officer "Sugar Tits" - would have just quietly snuck into rehab, apologized profusely and then gone to live a quiet reclusive life living off all the millions of hard-earned Jesus dollars. But not Mel. He has a new film, he compares it to the war in Iraq then publicly disses the US for being involved in that war. Dude... If it's Jewish people and the US you hate, I'm sure they'll give you a nice home in Iran. You are just as fucked up as their President.
Please Mel. Go away. Forever.


Angela said...

Holy high heavens to Betsy, that was a freakin' long post. Was all that really neccesary?!

Just joshing of course.

WTF? I didn't know Tie's real name is Tahir. Belinda is such a huge tramp, it's not even funny. And did Tie really go out with Tia Carrere? What's this world coming to? Everyone's a slut.

penelopeto said...

Tahir Domi - wonder what Dash's real name is?

SpeakEasy said...

Angela - I have Tie's rookie card. Says his name is Tahir. I mean really, who would name their kid, "Tie"?

Penelope - And further to my comments from above, there is no way "Dash" is his real name. Who would name a kid Dash, especially when his last name is Domi. Unless that's how Tie got to be so tough and fighting a lot. He had to beat up all the kids who made fun of their names growing up.