Monday, January 29, 2007

Sights and sounds in the SpeakEasy household...

Today, being my last day at home before returning to work after a 2 month paternity leave and 6 week sick leave, I am full of emotion.

I really felt that at the beginning of this leave that I would be able to get things done around the house, build a better relationship with my wife, form a bond with my son, finish my 2 classes, jump start my promotional business and socialize. I was wrong. Not only did I not see my friends, but our non-sleeping (heavy) son, and my lack of any sort of physical shape whatsoever resulted in, what we suspect to be, a herniated disk, or pinched nerve in my back. I'm waiting for the MRI results which should be here any moment.

So I go to physiotherapy twice a week now, and have managed to lose 10 pounds (a good thing) and my stretching and exercises are aimed at my lower back, abs and butt. That might help with the build a better relationship part... Butt seriously (pun intended) This time away from work has helped me put life back into perspective. I need to spend more time on me. I want to be in shape, I want that exciting career, and the pay and power that goes with it. I love politics and need to be involved in some way, and I really want to take cooking classes and guitar lessons (if only I could sing). I no longer need to eat all the time, especially snacks. I hate the way I feel after eating some 300 calorie treat. I took my wife for granted. Whatever I didn't do, she would do. She's like that. She's a doer, and I'm an accepter. I'd take on 10 tasks, knowing that I'd only be able to do one or two and she'd wait for the results. When they didn't come as fast as they should have, she would, understandably, question my work ethic. I need to learn to say no, and do what I say. It's been tough, but I find the results much more relaxing for me.

I learned that school will take care of itself. I enjoy the courses and do very well, whether I pour 30 hours a weeks into it, or 3 hours. I have to be productive and get the work done and enjoy the process.

I learned that I miss the company of my wife. Not that we used to go out often, but since both children have arrived, we are just plain tired at 8pm and want to unwind. She likes the internet, and I like to clean, take care of tasks and well, work the net too. But this pattern has become destructive. We are here together but not really together. We need to find a common task we can do together and I need to pamper the hell out of her. I really get it when she says that she wants to feel like she did when we were dating. Hell, back then, I was 29, no responsibilities and just wanted to impress this hot chick I met. Now? We take turns handing the baby off to each other bemoaning how long it has been since we managers to shower. Rough, eh?

I wanted to set goals. I need goals. I want to make sure that what I want to achieve helps my family get closer. I want a clean house that is not covered in clutter, and I want to see my friends and my wife's friends. I want more "guys nights out", and more time bonding with our kids. I want my lap top back (the hard drive blew), and I want a good nights sleep. I don't want a sore back anymore and I want to finally be in a position to make something happen in the workplace.

2006 did not end well, and 2007 has to be a better year because for the first time in years, I am clearly seeing my future and it sucks, unless I want to change it. I do, and I can. So stand back world and watch out for me. I'm ready to make that splash in the pool of life, and for the first time in my life, I'm NOT taking a life jacket, just in case.

Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.


Back to the household...

The Weed decided to get up at 4am this morning... How thoughtful.

The Royal Rumble was yesterday, the only WWE PPV that I have ever seen in a bar, or paid for (except attending Wrestlemania 6). I missed it. I missed my 3 friends that used to do the wrestling thing with me. I have not heard from them in years. Oh well.

The Happy Boy told me, over the weekend that he, "no like this Mummy... Want different Mummy". Same for his little brother. Poor kid is going to miss me big time when I go back to work.

I am going to potty train the Happy Boy and am calling out my 4 loyal readers (lol) for their tips, tricks and advice.

The new neighbours that moved in behind us, to whom I brought over an apple pie to welcome them to the neighborhood, but have not heard from yet, finally got blinds for their bathroom/bedroom last night. Thank goodness.

All the Dads in the playgroup are having another "Guys nite out", Feb 6th at our place. On the menu is deli and a few starters, like chopped liver (yum). I love that we can all get together and bash the Liberal party of Canada.

Speaking of the Liberals... I watched the beginning of question period today and found it funny that new Liberal leader Stephane Dion was picking at PM Harper for his environmental record, when Dion was the Environment Minister under the Liberals and did nothing to help Canada. Hypocrite. Yet people still vote for these idiots. Sigh.


Shroom-Monkey said...

Wow, you have done a lot of thinking and rethinking.... See what too much time on your hands does... can make a person nuts... You are fab! You will be fab!! you always was fab!! here is the future and being successful, happy and gainfully employed!!! hooray!!!

Shroom-Monkey said...

your an acceptor??? is that right????

SpeakEasy said...

Shroomie - Thank you for the positive vibes. Yes I am an acceptor. I accept everything that comes my way head on, and I deal with it until I find good in it, then I'm done with it and I move on. I try not to rock the boat, unless need be. I'm not a push-over, but I am very understanding.

I'm a pisces. What else can I say.