Thursday 13 repost from August 2012: Things that Bug me!

Have you noticed that it is usually easier to come up with a list of 13 things that bug the crap out of you than it is to do the same type of list about things that you like, or that make you happy? Parents... Not so easy right? I mean once you get past the obvious, like more sleep, or some sleep, or having your kids clean their rooms... It's not so easy.

But with that being said, here are the 13 Things that bug the crap out of me today - and probably every day;

13. Drivers who do not signal! – Do they not realize that by not indicating which way they are going they can cause accidents like the idiot driver who made a right turn on to the street I was driving along. That right turn cut off a car coming through the intersection and that dumb ass, clearly frustrated, just pulled into my lane to go around this car. Problem is that I was there. I swerved, she quickly zipped into the oncoming traffic and made a quick left off the street (again without signalling).

12. Lack of feedback – in work, play and in life. The world would be a better place if everyone spoke their mind and helped others succeed instead of surprising them with bad news. Would you not want that same courtesy extended to you? For sure!

11. Judging a book by its cover – I’ve done it and been shocked at how stupid that was. Give people a chance and let them show you what they can do. This leads into the next point…

10. Listening to others without making your own judgement – Another faux pas. I have always taken into consideration feedback from others but never used that to formulate a decision about others. Especially in a work environment, I have found that those folks who others need to "warn" me about - the ones described as “loners”, “troublemakers” or as "strange" usually have as much to offer if not more than others but no one gives them a chance…

9. Pretentiousness - I see the Lululemon pants, and the skin and bones and I know when I see people walk around with their noses in the air that they are doing so to shelter themselves from having real conversations with real people. Yes you may drive a nicer car, have more money, richer parents, wear trendier clothes, but the only people who think you are the cat’s meow are those who look, dress and act just like you. The rest of us wish you would get real, eat some food and stop being so unhappy…

8. How the pump at the gas station reads "pump is ready" but when I squeeze the handle I do not get gas, instead the pump clicks. Then I have to wait 5-10 seconds until it is ready. Is it so damn hard to program a pump to tell me it's ready when it really is ready?!?

7. How creativity comes and goes – One week I post 3 articles and stick 7 in the draft folder and some weeks I’ve got nothing. What’s up with that?

6. Why in the world are people unable to utter the words, “Excuse me". This one I don’t get… I’m walking in a mall, or store and I’m carrying a basket and a child and out from an aisle walks someone right in front of me that it almost knocks me over. No excuse me. No sorry. Where has etiquette gone? No app for that??? for kicks if I'm blocking someone and I know they want to get buy and they are trying their hardest to squeeze by me, I won't move until they say those magic words.

5. Cutting me off in traffic then slowing down – Another pet peeve. Me, on the road and very few other cars around when all of a sudden speedy Gonzalez comes up the rear, cuts infront of me, then slows down back to the speed limit. Would it have killed them to pull in behind me? Odds are I’m already speeding (slightly).

4. Tailing me in the diamond lane when I’m doing 120km/h – It’s the diamond / carpool lane and there are specific spots to enter and exit it. I’m doing 120km/hour and I cannot leave the lane so back the fuck up and stop sitting on my bumper. Where do you want me to go??? These types of drivers are the same who pull to the left to look around me because they think I’m happy doing 20 under the speed limit.

3. I told you so people – Yes, telling someone to “Fuck Off” can cause problem for you down the road but having someone over your shoulder telling you “I told you so” is not going to help the situation. Please take comfort in knowing we both know it do don’t say it.

2. Those spots on my floor that creek and wake the kids – I have them, you have them, they’re the spots on the floor that creak when I’m tip toeing around at 2am checking on my kids. One creek and the kids are up and yelling, waking up the rest of the house.

1. Back fat – This one pretty much explains itself. but I saw a security video clip of myself and while I’m coming to grips quickly on the lack of hair the back fat caught me by surprise and was utterly gross. UGH.

So what bugs you today?

How Many times Do I Have to Tell my Kids to "Go To Bed!"

Seriously!

Parenting community:  How many times do I have to tell my children to either Go To Bed or Go BACK To Bed?  Or is this the life I have now only to embrace?

That was me last night to both of my boys after they combined to wake up 5 times - and stay up for a total of 4 1/2 hours - resulting in me getting a whopping 3 hours sleep.

Yet, probably stupidly, here I am still awake at 11pm blogging about it.

Why?!?

Well, for one thing I am looking for a title for this post but my brain conked out at 10pm, so I have nothing to type in that top subject box. 

I even was so desperate that I Googled options for clever titles which will attract readers and get more traffic, however, the most popular suggestions are not so closely tied to this post or anything else in my life;

"Hot Sex Inside"
"Free Porn Movies"
"Hot Girls For You"
"Learn to be Hard and Thick"

well, maybe this one...

"Go All Night Long"

If by "go" they mean "Say awake with your kids all night long", then I'm good with that title.

But if I use those titles, all the perverts arrive and I can see what they were searching for to get here... UGH.  Then the comments.  double UGH.

But the real reason I am still wide awake at 11pm is because I had a ball hockey game tonight and after the games I need a couple of hours to settle down before I can sleep.  (I wonder if I can still say that when my kids are older and I'm still exhausted all day).  My team was short-handed and it was really hot in the arena which means I need to play a lot to eat up minutes, and hopefully help out with the offense (without sacrificing anything on the defensive side).  That means up and down the floor each shift, fast and without hesitation.

Well, I made it through almost all of the game without incident - taking a screaming hard slapshot right off my upper thigh a few inches away from ending my hopes of having more children.  It must have hit a nerve because the second it hit me my toes went numb for a minute.  It's going to be quite a bruise!

After the game, I got changed, came home and thought a good way to unwind might be to take a nice long run - bad idea!  30 minutes into the run, the spot where I blocked that shot began to tighten up.   I made it home - soaking wet from the heat and having to walk/run for 10 minutes to get back.  I showered, then came to kitchen to type this blog post, half-asleep, now unable to move. :)

At least I'm still on vacation!

I can look forward to being achy tomorrow while I accomplish my daily routine which includes; some household errands, washing windows, cleaning up the cars, and possibly painting 2 rooms in the house. 

Can't wait.  Errr, Ready to Take It Deep All Night Long.

Nite all.

Who reads this Urban Daddy blog, anyways? Google Analytics, please tell me the truth!

So, it turns out that after posting 200 posts over 4 years, you're still not a true or real blogger unless you look at some statistics to notice that it's not true that only your mother, sister and wife are reading your posts.

Hmmm.

Who knew.

In fact, I was shocked to see that several hundred people come by each week to poke about and learn more at the fun that parenting can be in urban Toronto with a full-time job where your family is the most important thing in the world.

So a fellow blogger, Haley O, The Cheaty Monkey (also my neighbour) mentioned this thing called Google Analytics and after adding it to my blog I had some hard stats to read through and I love me some statistics!

I also found some very interesting stuff yesterday.

I found a ranking of keywords typed into google which brought people to my site, and man are some of them really interesting, not because they got people to my site, but because I have this sneaky feeling that these issues I have touched upon while my kids are 1 and 3, are going to continue to be problems as my kids get to be older...

Here is the list of the top 15 keywords which brought people to my blog:

1. urbandaddy (the dot com site that came, ahem, after my blog was set up)

2. urban daddy

3. The urban daddy

4. Parenting

5. Daddy's in Toronto

6. How hard is it to be a dad?

7. Will I ever sleep again?

8. Who changes dirty diapers?

9. Can I work and raise a kid?

10. Will I lose my hair?

11. Will I gain weight?

12. Will I ever have sex again?

13. Discipline

14. Sweets

15. Treats
 

These keywords kill me because I can say they are all applicable and only time will tell how true they are all, but so far they seem to be right on track.

 

Parents... How many of those keywords below will I be searching out as my kids get older??

It think it's been WAY too much candy...

Folks.  I think way too much candy has... passed by MY lips and into my chubby belly.

Ugh.

I'm going to be sick.  At the time, it seemed like such a great idea - forgetting my inability to stop until it's all gone, I am certainly paying the price now.

Someone pass me some water... and an Advil, Aleeve or Tylenol Ultra.

Halloween is a killer for me and I need to find a way around this day of begging and over-indulgence.  Sure, the kids were great, but as a parent, we have to look after our kids teeth and bellies, right?

What really did me in this year was carrying my second child around.  He's just over a year old and he's heavy.  Plus, I ate all the candy that was given to him which I like but never eat. 

Both boys brought in a lot of candy this evening.

The best part of collecting Halloween candy in our house is our policy that the kids trade us their candy for a pre-purchased toy.  Works every time.  The kids do not eat much junk food (we really don't either) but they love toys. 

On the way back to our house we stopped by - as promised - to see Haley-o, Josh-o, the Cheaty Monkey and Rascal. After picking up some much needed candy (lol) I put down the now uber-heavy 1-year-old and he crawled right into their house and disappeared in the family room with the toys. Then came my 3-year-old, and my wife, disappearing into the house leaving Josh-o and I at the door to chat about computers and give out candy together... fun.

After about 15 minutes, we dragged the kids back into the wagon and shleped them home.

No more candy... please...